Monday, August 25, 2014

Ice, Ice Baby!

 Author and Comedian Mike Buzzelli

It’s been a crazy week. I mean really crazy. Perfectly sane friends are dumping buckets of ice water on their heads. My family members are doing it. My friends are doing it. My favorite celebrities are doing it. Men, women and children are wetting themselves for charity.

I need to point out an irrefutable fact: Buckets of ice are best used to chill champagne. Maybe after you drink all the champagne, you can drown your sorrows by nearly drowning in partially frozen water.

I watched a lot of people challenge their friends. At first, I was grateful my name never came up. Then, the enormous ego played peek-a-boo. I was starting to get angry that my name wasn’t on anyone’s lips. It’s like being angry that the guy carrying the collection plate doesn’t make it to the back row of the church. I should have been relieved.

Finally, my niece, Brittany, challenged me to support ALS, just as her boyfriend threw ice water on her (hey, she asked him to do it). I had been skating by, on thin ice, literally and figuratively. Thanks, Brit.

I cheated. I wrote a check instead of dousing myself. It seemed like a more rational way to go. Giving away a stack of hard-earned money to a good cause never gave anyone pneumonia. I should be proud I donated money. Somehow I felt a little cowardly. Though, not enough to participate in soaking myself with water best suited for polar bears.

Last summer, between the end of July and the beginning of August, ALS raised $1.4 million. This year, during the same time period, they’ve raised $4 million. People are still donating. It might be a crazy thing, but it’s good crazy.
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Mike Buzzelli is an author and stand up comedian. His book, "Below Average Genius," a collection of humor essays culled from his weekly column at the Observer Reporter, can be purchased here:

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