Friday, August 30, 2013

You Can't Handle the Truth FILM REVIEWS: Ep. 1 GETAWAY starring Selena Gomez and Ethan Hawke


Here it is - the long-awaited launch episode of You Can't Handle The Truth, the podcast offering honest reviews of the newest movies. Each week Sean Collier and Aaron Kleiber sit down immediately after watching an advance screening of a new movie, and lay out their thoughts. This week the boys watch summer car-chase flick Getaway, with Ethan Hawk and Selena Gomez. Spoilers, they weren't thrilled with Selena's "performance" in this one. Also, they dish on some trailers in the "Trailer Trash" segment and introduce the show to the world!



Thursday, August 29, 2013

FREE TICKETS for DAVE COULIER @ Pittsburgh Improv, August 30-31, 2013

Thu - Sun, Aug 29th - Sep 1st
Dave Coulier
Dave Coulier: Dave is perhaps best known for his work on the long-running hit ABC television series, Full House, which aired for eight seasons (1987-1995, with 192 episodes produced).

FREE TICKETS HERE 

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Fork Full of Noodles with Krish Mohan-11-Paid Forward

This episode focuses on the new program to eliminate student loan debt, Pay it Forward, Pay it Back.







 BONUS: Hipsterpotomus Goes to College

Written by: Krish MohanIsaac Kozell
Starring: Krish Mohan, Day Bracey, Ray Zawodni (Follow @RealLifeZawodni), Derek Minto, and Cassie Brehmer & Connor McCanlus as Hipsterpotomus
Directed by: Krish Mohan & Mary Stewart (Follow @MaryEStew)
Graphics by: Krish Mohan
Music by: Max Somerville
Cinematography by: Mary Stewart


For past episodes of Fork Full of Noodles click HERE.
Subscribe to Krish's YouTube Channel HERE

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Local Couple Arrested In Salad Bar Fraud Sting BY JAMES J. HAMILTON

PITTSBURGH—A local married couple was arrested on charges of fraud this weekend in an FBI sting operation at the Eat'n Park restaurant in Robinson Township. Herman and Julia Swanson, both 65, were having an uneventful dinner at Eat'n Park, like they do every Sunday, when their table was suddenly swarmed by federal agents who handcuffed them and took them away in unmarked black SUVs. 

At a Monday morning press conference, FBI Special Agent Dennis Manning told reporters that the Swansons' arrest was the culmination of a months-long investigation by the FBI's Western Pennsylvania Salad Bar Fraud Task Force. 

"Every Sunday for the past several months," Manning said, "the Swansons would arrive at the Eat'n Park restaurant at approximately 4:30 p.m. and would be seated at the same table in the southwest corner of the restaurant. On each occasion, Julia would order the rosemary chicken with sides of coleslaw and mashed potatoes. Herman would order the mile-high meatloaf and the salad bar. Herman would then proceed to obtain items from the salad bar and give them to Julia—soup, macaroni salad, cottage cheese, etc.—even though Julia had not ordered the salad bar."

Legal analysts say the Swansons, who have no prior criminal record, could face a maximum of 15 years imprisonment in a federal penitentiary and fines of up to $250,000.

"We're living in a society," Manning said. "The salad bar is all you can eat, not all everyone in your family can eat. That's chaos."

Manning confirmed that he spent months working undercover as an Eat'n Park waiter in order to help bring the Swansons to justice. "I'm just glad it's all over and I can go back to my family," he said.
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James J. Hamilton is a comedian from Pittsburgh whose awesome genius is matched only by his incredible humility. He has performed at the Pittsburgh Improv, the Arcade Comedy Theater, the DVE Comedy Festival, and many other illustrious places including dive bars, bowling alleys, public parks, Juggalo coffeehouses, and yogurt shops. You're missing out on a life-affirming experience if you don't follow him on Twitter and read his blog. If you want to hire him to tell masturbation jokes at your son's bar mitzvah or your grandma's funeral or if you have any sexy pictures of Natalie Portman you'd like to share, contact jamesjhamiltoncomedy@gmail.com.

The Hollywood’s So Bad It’s Good Series presents The Boy in the Plastic Bubble: August 21, 2013


The Hollywood’s So Bad It’s Good Series presents The Boy in the Plastic Bubble, a 1976 made-for-TV movie starring John Travolta as a young man forced to live in a plastic isolation chamber because he was born with a nonfunctioning immune system.

The plot isn't funny, but the script and production values are. It's been called "a touching story marred by unclear ending". Hopefully live commentary by the Pittsburgh comedic duo, The Ink & Paint Club. (Eric S. Donaldson & Milton Compton), will help fill in the gaps.

The Hollywood Theater in Dormont
1449 Potomac Avenue, Pittsburgh


Fork Full of Noodles with Krish Mohan-10-Language Barriers


This episode focuses on the importance of assimilating into a culture and learning the language. 



FFON-Bonus: Learning the Queen's English


Written by: Krish Mohan & Zach Funk (Follow @ZFunktopus)
Starring: Krish Mohan, Ray Zawodni (Follow @RealLifeZawodni) & Connor McCanlus
Directed by: Krish Mohan & Mary Stewart (Follow @MaryeStew)
Graphics by: Krish Mohan
Music by: Max Somerville
Cinematography by: Mary Stewart
Download the Podcast HERE or on iTunes

Click HERE to view all the past Fork Full of Noodles.


Thursday, August 15, 2013

Rock n Roll comedian MARK EDDIE at Arcade Comedy Theater: August 17th, 2013

Rock n Roll comedian
MARK EDDIE
at Arcade Comedy Theater
August 17th, 2013
Mark is a staple on Sirius/XM Comedy Radio - Mark Eddie has a musician’s point-of-view on everything from pop culture to parenting.  With his guitar, signature voice & happy-go-lucky spirit, Eddie points out quirky things in the hits we love while delivering dead-on musical impressions of Al Green, Neil Diamond, Shaggy, Dave Mathews and more!

Featuring Aaron Kleiber
(2012 & 2013 Pittsburgh Magazine "Best Local Comedian")

ONE NIGHT ONLY!
Shows at 8pm & 10pm!
and it's BYOB!

Tickets going fast -get them now - it WILL SELL OUT!

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Local High School Senior Aspires To Be Unknown Session Guitarist BY JAMES J. HAMILTON

PITTSBURGH—Local high school senior Steve Weir recently announced plans to pursue a career as an unknown session guitarist. Weir, who has played guitar for five years and is a member of both the school jazz band and a heavy metal band called Skank, told friends and family this week that he hopes to parlay his impressive musical ability into a stable career laying down competent, anonymous guitar tracks in exchange for a steady income.  

Session musicians, the unsung journeymen of the music industry, are typically used by recording studios to provide (often uncredited) backing tracks for other artists and recordings for advertising, film, and television.

"I just want to make a living in music," Weir said. "Rather than chase the pipe dream of becoming a rock star and ending up working at McDonald's for the rest of my life, I figure I can prepare myself to enter a marketplace where a bunch of different people will pay me to play guitar." In pursuit of this goal, Weir will attend Duquesne University next fall, where he plans to double major in music performance and business management. His parents are reportedly very proud of him.

Weir's announcement came as a shock to best friend and Skank lead singer Craig Nash, who sources say honestly expects Skank to "take over the world" and embark on a stadium tour complete with wild parties and backstage antics that will "make Led Zeppelin look like a church choir." Nash's parents refused to say whether they were proud of their son, but confirmed that he was devastated when Weir told him becoming a famous rock star was "fun to think about" but "not realistic," and that he didn't join Skank to get famous but to hone his skills and gain experience working with other musicians.

Skank drummer Dave Kolb, who joined the band to impress Sally Wilson, and bassist Adam Dupree, who uses band practice as an excuse to smoke weed in Nash's parents' garage, said Weir is "an incredible guitar player" but also "a buzzkill."

Weir outlined plans to develop strong, long-term working relationships with multiple recording studios. He cited the example of Chris Spedding, a versatile and highly respected British session guitarist who worked with thousands of artists during his long career, including Elton John and Paul McCartney. Weir's plans were dismissed as "giving up" by Nash, whose idol Jim Morrison died in a bathtub at age 27 and who says his life's goal is to have sex with more than one woman at the same time.

Weir's high school music teacher, Allen Gill, said Weir is a "dedicated and talented musician" and is "making smart decisions about his future." Guidance counselor Nick Brewster agreed with Gill and added his opinion that "Craig Nash will probably be smoking weed in his parents' garage for the next 40 years." Brewster later claimed he wanted his comment about Nash's drug use to be off the record, but no takesies backsies.
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James J. Hamilton is a comedian from Pittsburgh whose awesome genius is matched only by his incredible humility. He has performed at the Pittsburgh Improv, the Arcade Comedy Theater, the DVE Comedy Festival, and many other illustrious places including dive bars, bowling alleys, public parks, Juggalo coffeehouses, and yogurt shops. You're missing out on a life-affirming experience if you don't follow him on Twitter and read his blog. If you want to hire him to tell masturbation jokes at your son's bar mitzvah or your grandma's funeral or if you have any sexy pictures of Natalie Portman you'd like to share, contact jamesjhamiltoncomedy@gmail.com.

Fork Full of Noodles with Krish Mohan: Ep. 9 ReEvolve


This episode focuses on the issues of evolution and if we as a species are done evolving.
Lets still eat meat though.

Download the podcast HERE or on iTunes.
Written by: Krish Mohan & Ray Zawodni (Follow at @RealLifeZawodni)
Starring: Krish Mohan, Cassie Brehmer, Justin Vetter & JC Ciesielski
Directed by: Krish Mohan & Mary Stewart (Follow @MaryeStew)
Graphics by: Krish Mohan
Music by: Max Somerville
Cinematography by: Mary Stewart
Filmed at: Arcade Comedy Theater
For past Fork Full of Noodles click HERE

Thursday, August 8, 2013

FREE TICKETS for PABLO FRANCISCO at the Pittsburgh Improv, August 8-11, 2013


 

Thu - Sun, Aug 8th - 11th
Pablo Francisco 
*Mad TV*
*Comedy Central*
*The Tonight Show*

Sign up for FREE TICKETS HERE!
***MUST SIGN-UP by 5PM day of SHOW***
*** FREE TICKET SIGN-UP *DOES NOT GUARANTEE ENTRY*
First come, first seated - get there early - pick up tickets at window & get in line***
***Each person is STILL required to purchase a two-item minimum from the menu (drink/soda/food)***


Pablo Francisco: Pablo is one of the most popular touring comedians worldwide. His two Comedy Central one hour comedy specials “They Put It Out There” and “Ouch!” continue to stay on the networks most requested list. Pablo hits his mark every time, weaving together his one of a kind arsenal of characters, spontaneous outbursts, spot on impressions and clever insights to create a stand-up show that more resembles an hour-long comedic jazz riff. Pablo’s show is an entertaining and off-the-wall performance that delivers the laughs and points out the hilarious absurdities in an illogical, pop-culture obsessed world. Pablo’s worldwide charm is evident in his past three Australian tours where he sold out shows in Melbourne and Sydney. Previous to that, Francisco had his second visit to the South African Comedy Festival. Francisco’s amazing global appeal catapulted him to rock star status selling out the world renowned Milky Way in Amsterdam. His phenomenal performance at the Troxy in London, sold over 26,000 tickets during his third 16 city tour of Sweden. Francisco’s international profile continues to soar as his anxious European and Australian fans await his return for yet another multi-country tour slated for later this fall. Those who experience Pablo’s show for the first time find themselves captivated by his hilarious dead on impressions. Gene Lavanchy of FOX – TV Boston calls Pablo “the most talented comedian in the business today”. His unbelievable ability to physically morph himself into movie stars, singers, friends, family, and a multitude of nationalities gives Pablo’s show a universal charm. His drop-dead funny spoofing often leaves his audiences struggling to catch their breath which is the driving force behind his huge success. Pablo’s astounding popularity is not limited to the stage. His outrageously funny material and pervasive internet presence has captivated over 10 million YouTube viewers around the world. Francisco’s worldwide fan base continues to grow with over 111,655 Facebook fans and thousands of Twitter followers. In addition to his Comedy Central specials & DVD’s “They Put It Out There”, “Ouch” & “Bit and Pieces”, Pablo has appeared on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon,” Comedy Central’s “The Show Biz Show w/ David Spade,” “Mind of Mencia,” and was just on the spring finally of VH1’s “Big Morning Buzz”. He has also been a cast member on the Fox Network's sketch comedy show "Mad TV,” TBS’s “Frank TV,” and has appeared on Howard Stern’s radio show.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Nine Out Of Ten Dentists Agree Tenth Dentist Needs To Get With The Program BY JAMES J. HAMILTON

Nine out of ten dentists agree on most things. But the tenth dentist—Dr. James Silvera, DDS—stubbornly refuses to get with the program. He remains the lone outlier on issues ranging from braces and whitening to Novocaine and denture adhesives. Dr. Silvera describes himself as a contrarian and free thinker, but the other nine dentists agree that he is “an idiot,” “an embarrassment to the profession,” and “an asshole who just wants attention.” 

“He’s giving dentistry a bad name,” said third dentist Dr. Mary Robertson, DDS. “It looks terrible when we can’t come to a consensus on stuff like what toothpastes are effective and how often people should floss.” Dr. Robertson’s eight like-minded colleagues nodded approvingly.  “What would you think about physics if you heard only nine out of ten physicists believed in gravity?” added sixth dentist Dr. Allen Greenberg, DDS. 

Dr. Silvera, who uses a Linux operating system on his computer and has voted for Ross Perot as a write-in candidate in the last five presidential elections, said he doesn’t believe in conformity and asked whether you would jump off a bridge just because nine out of ten dentists told you to.

Speaking on the condition of anonymity, a longtime patient of Dr. Silvera said he is a good dentist, but described the selection of magazines in his waiting room as “bizarre,” his office decor as “neo-surrealist,” and the outfit worn by his receptionist as “obscene.”

Dr. Silvera did not respond to a request to confirm or deny allegations that he took a year off from dental school to attend Clown College.

___________________________________________
James J. Hamilton is a comedian from Pittsburgh whose awesome genius is matched only by his incredible humility.  He has performed at the Pittsburgh Improv, the Arcade Comedy Theater, the DVE Comedy Festival, and many other illustrious places including dive bars, bowling alleys, public parks, Juggalo coffeehouses, and yogurt shops.  You're missing out on a life-affirming experience if you don't follow him on Twitter and read his blog.  If you want to hire him to tell masturbation jokes at your son's bar mitzvah or if you have any sexy pictures of Natalie Portman you'd like to share, contact jamesjhamiltoncomedy@gmail.com.