Friday, July 19, 2013

Stunned Public Learns Detroit Wasn't Bankrupt Until Just Now BY JAMES J. HAMILTON

DETROITThe city of Detroit filed for Chapter 9 bankruptcy yesterday, completely and utterly shocking millions of Americans who had been under the impression that Detroit had gone bankrupt a while ago. Victoria Sullivan of Toledo, Ohio expressed her amazement that a city with 78,000 abandoned buildings and $18 billion in long-term liabilities had actually been in a position to meet its obligations to creditors up until yesterday. "I couldn't believe it," said Oliver Burke of Tampa, Florida. "I mean, you saw 8 Mile, right? That came out over ten years ago. How can they just now be running out of money?"

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James J. Hamilton is a comedian from Pittsburgh whose awesome genius is matched only by his incredible humility.  He has performed at the Pittsburgh Improv, the Arcade Comedy Theater, the DVE Comedy Festival, and many other illustrious places including dive bars, bowling alleys, public parks, Juggalo coffeehouses, and yogurt shops.  You're missing out on a life-affirming experience if you don't follow him on Twitter and read his blog.  If you want to hire him to tell masturbation jokes at your son's bar mitzvah or if you have any sexy pictures of Natalie Portman you'd like to share, contact jamesjhamiltoncomedy@gmail.com.

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