Friday, August 17, 2012

Intolerant Chicken by Krish Mohan

After the recent comments by Chic-fil-a against Gay marriage and financially backing several anti-Gay groups, there was a “Kiss-in” by those for Gay marriage. This is a great idea! Spokespeople for Chic-fil-a and Catholic lunatics have said “this will envoke the wrath of God”, to which I say, isn’t God a little pervy to want to watch people kissing? Persecution is something I know very well, and so does my girlfriend. She is Jewish and I’m Brown, so according to the Catholics we’re both going to hell. There’s a level of transitions to persecution and it always involves the White man and the Catholics.

My people were persecuted because of the events of 9/11. The phrase “never forget” is always uttered around then. Trust me, I won’t. I won’t forget when India was repeatedly confused for every country in the Middle East! It must be nice for racists to turn off the idea of borders, mountains, countries that separate India to Afghanistan & Iran. In that case, all rednecks are from Boston, since Alabama is resides closer to Massachusetts than India does to Iran; Also Red Sox & Red Necks seems like they are interchangeable.

Before my people it was Black people and even before that it was the Pilgrims in England. People in England didn’t like them, which why when they left everyone breathed a sigh of relief and said, “They’re gone, but let’s tax their tea!” This caused the Boston Harbor to smell like Darjeeling’s best and few other things (#consulthistorybooks). So let’s go through this Persecution history; Pilgrims hated by the English, Native Americans hated by Pilgrims, White Americans hate the Blacks, White Americans hate the Browns, and now Catholics hate the Gays. So in the hate train, Brown was the new Black, and now the Rainbow is the new Brown! And all this caused by a company that sells sub-par chicken sandwiches and flat, stale “fries”?

Fast food is destroying enough lives with high cholesterol and just being plain awful, does it really need to start destroying people’s lives because of its “moral” standings? I suppose grease is similar to intolerance and persecution, it’s always going to be stuck in the veins of every country it appears in. For a while it’ll be spread out and dispersed and then every so often it’ll just get clogged into one area and start causing issues and health conditions. People start saying “Wow, he’s going to die pretty soon if he continues this way.” The doctors start to say “Hey we need to get rid some of this from you system. Let’s do it surgically.” And that’s only way to get rid of greasy, dirty, health causing intolerance & racism, remove it surgically.

If Chic-fil-a wants to make a bold political statement about how Christian they are, they’ll do what every other Christian organization does; leave this country and go try to preach to some deserted island in the middle of the Pacific. I say from now on, the only Chic-fil-a location should be on a remote a island somewhere, a magical place where all the Bigots and most of the Catholics can join hands and go, “Isn’t this nice, this island is as crappy and white as the meat served by Corporate Christian Overlords, Chic-Fil-a.” Then the Gays can get married in every state, and I will get them a toaster and a gift card to Panera Bread!

*This post was inspired by not only the Gays I know and don’t know & the intolerance I’ve faced in the past, but also my Girlfriend who posted the below, which I firmly stand behind*

“Is it still appropriate that the statue of liberty be called the mother of exiles? This country was founded on people who wanted to escape to freedom from persecution. Why now are the citizens of this country turning into persecutors? If an establishment bars gays from its doors then who’s next…Jews, blacks, Hispanics, or Irish?
‘Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!’” ~Carrie Brunner


Krish Mohan is a Comedian & Writer from Pittsburgh PA. He has been performing Comedy since he was 15 and writes about his perspectives on Race, Religion, Culture, his girlfriend, his mom and various other topics. Visit: http://ramannoodlescomedy.com

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