We present this super-geeky fight from the archives in honor of Ash Wednesday which, for this writer, just became much more religious now that Ash Wednesday has now entered into meme-hood and become a day of atonement as well as a day on which you watch the entire Evil Dead trilogy back-to-back. Much more awesome than just getting your forehead dirty and eating a fish sandwich.
Ash Williams: owner of a chainsaw arm, a boomstick, and a list of deddite kills that could fill a set of encyclopedias. He's had to kill multiple women he's loved. He built steampunk devices using medieval technology. He's saved the world from the evil of the Necronomicon. And, when all is said and done, he goes right back to his shit-shoveler job in the housewares department of S-Mart like it wasn't no thang. One of the baddest-ass undead slaying characters in movie history. He is the King. Hail to him, baby.
The Crow: An undead spirit of vengeance who returns from the afterlife to kill those who have wronged him in the most brutal ways possible while still leaving enough room for artistic flare by leaving his symbol at every murder scene. He feels no pain and heals almost immediately from any damage. He's got expertise in martial arts, firearms, and swordplay enough that, in every movie, he can take down an entire crime syndicate single-handedly before returning to his final rest. His only weakness is the crow through which his power is channeled, though even when it's caught or killed, somehow the hero always finds the strength to carry on.
For the purposes of this exercise, we will be using the Brandon Lee - Eric Draven from the first movie (because he was the most badass and least fantastical).
It's the unstoppable zombie-slaying force vs. the super-healing undamageable immovable undead object.
Happy Ash Wednesday, baby. Now gimmie some sugar.
Fight of the Week is written by Justin Bidula