Wednesday, January 18, 2012

FIGHT of the WEEK: Bender vs. C3P0 and R2D2

I know we've all been enjoying a bit of a hiatus into potentially real fights via the Hollywood Underground Deathmatch Society, but I think it's time to get back to the nerdiness which made this segment famous. Come on, kids, let's nerd it up with a little Robot Rumble!

The Skinny

In a galaxy far, far away…

A sleek green spaceship lands at a large palace on the planet Alderaan. As a stairway descends from the ship, a gray metal robot walks on to the landing pad.

“Hello? Anybody here? Planet Express!,” the gray robot shouts, “Got a delivery for a Bail Organa.”
“Oh, hello,” says a stiff-looking gold robot appearing from around a corner, “My name is C3PO, human-cyborg relations. Perhaps I can be of some assistance.”
“Um, not unless you’re Bail Organa, Butler-bot,” says the gray one, “I have a package here that’s supposed to be signed for. It’s secure. Eyes only super-secret spy stuff. Some Bothan sent it, so you know it’s gotta be espionage related.”
The gray-bot turns the package over in his three-fingered hands, examining it.
“You wouldn’t happen to know what’s in here, would ya?” he asks, “I’ve been dying to know the whole way here.”
“Sir, I wouldn’t recommend mistreatment of that package,” says Threepio, “It could be of vital diplomatic importance. There's no telling how many Bothans died to get that into your hands.”
A smaller, white and blue robot with a domed silver head wheels in behind Threepio, making unintelligible beeping noises.
“What did he say?” asks the gray-bot.
“He wants to know who you are and what you’re doing here,” Threepio says, “You’ll have to pardon him, he can be rather rude sometimes. May I introduce my counterpart R2-D2.”
“You may,” says the gray bot, “But I ain’t listening. My name’s Bender, I’m here with Planet Express. Now, can one of youze two show me where I can find Bail Organa so I can get back to drinking.”
Artoo extends a small pincer from his midsection as he beeps wildly.
“He says that this package is of great importance and that he is to deliver it personally,” Threepio translates.
“Uh-uh, no way,” says Bender, “I’m supposed to get a signature or Leela’s not going to let me smoke the whole way back to Earth, and that’s really far, far away. So, either you guys take me to Bail Organa, or you’re pending for a bending.”
The small one beeps and produces a stun gun-like device from one of his many hatches. He moves threateningly toward Bender.
“Oh dear,” Threepio starts, “He says to 'bring it on, chump'.”

Who would win in a fight?
BENDER C3PO and R2D2 free polls 

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