Not a ghoulie was stirring, not even hell hounds.
The stockings were hung from the mantle with tacks
In hopes that Christmas Time would be coming back.
With Jack at the window and Sally in bed
The visions of Sandy Claws danced in his head.
He held in his hand a small red-and-white cap
And remembered the year Santa almost dirt napped.
Then out in the dark, there arose such a clatter
Jack tensely surveyed to see what was the matter.
Straight down the stairs he flew like a flash
Threw opened the front door and grinned unabashed.
Full moon on the pale of the drab and gray ground
Halloween Town werewolves would soon come around.
When what to his wandering eyes should appear,
But a gigantic sleigh and one tiny fake deer.
With a paunchy green driver so nasty and sick
He knew in a moment it can’t be St. Nick.
More evil and greedy the driver he seemed
As he shouted and sang out his sickening scheme
“I’ll take from the people of Halloween Village
I’ll steal and I’ll rob and I’ll rob and I’ll pillage <- (thanks, Beastie Boys!)
All the best of the joys of the Christmas-y season
I’ll leave them all sad, without motive or reason!”
Jack heard him exclaiming these wicked old plans
And ran to the closet for red jacket and pants.
As toward Halloween Town this green knave did fly
He was stopped at the front gate by Jack’s twisted guise.
“I am Sandy Claws, thief, and this here is my town
‘Lest you want pain for Christmas, I suggest you turn ‘round.”
The dog-drawn sleigh stopped as Jack issued his edict
“You’re not Santa, you fool, so get out of here! Beat it!”
The green one stared down his pug nose at good Jack
“I’m the Grinch who’ll steal Christmas and won’t give it back!”
“You will never steal Christmas from Halloween Town.
We just came to agreements with Santa on grounds
That our children are good, even though they seem bad
And I promised them all there’d be presents to have.”
“Not my problem,” said Grinch, his face twisted and sneered,
“I’ll make sure you are hurting if you don’t keep clear
Of my mission of greed. These ghouls don’t deserve toys,
So I’ll take them for me from your girls and your boys.”
It was shock, the expression on Skellington’s face
As the green man attempted to tell him his place
But Jack wouldn’t have it, he stood his ground firm
He shouted a warning to the ugly green worm.
“You’ll have to go through Old Jackie to enter this town!
Take your fake-deer and run or you’ll catch a beat-down!”
The Grinch simply smiled and his little green belly
Had shook when he cackled like a bowl full of jelly.
“If it’s fighting you want, then the Grinch will deliver!”
He rolled up his sleeves as his clenched fists did quiver.
Jack got himself ready and balled his own fists
And hoped that his head shots would not be missed.
They would brawl, they would tussle, as a voice cried anon,
“Merry Christmas to all, NOW LET’S GET THIS FIGHT ON!”
Fight of the Week is written by Justin Bidula