When people ask me the age old question, "Mike what was it like to be a child of the 90s?" I almost immediately want to respond, "Eat Starburst Fruit Twists and you will know." It is at this point that I remember in horror that Starburst Fruit Twists do not exist anymore. Oh how the children of the 2000s missed a great one. It still pains me to think how this great fruit snack did not stand the test of time.
Some do not understand Starburst Fruit Twists. Just imagine Twizzlers but with a good taste. They had several different flavors like orange, cherry, lemon and watermelon; and unlike Twizzlers, actually tasted like the fruits they claimed to be. Seriously, how long can Twizzlers have a cherry flavor that has no hint of a cherry taste? Am I the only one that notices this? Back for a few beautiful years though I did not worry about these questions because the great alternative that was Starburst Fruit Twists quenched my fruit licorice thirst. Now though, there is nothing to fill the void.
Sometimes I worry about trivial things like will I find love?,But then I snap back into reality and realize that would never come close to filling the hole in my soul left by the lack of Starburst Fruit Twists. Some days I walk by a vending machine thinking the unthinkable. Maybe just maybe they have untouched the machine since 1997 and it still has some really old expired Starburst Fruit Twists. Then I look and see the usual crap choices of Nutter Butters, Cheez Its and Twizzlers, all at least months away from their expiration dates. Its at that point that I look to the sky and wonder what is left to do and why should I even move forward.
Maybe its time to call it quits. Maybe I should just tell the youngins that ask me about the 90s, "you will never know just kill yourself." Still I am a dreamer. Deep down I believe Starburst will relaunch its fruit twists brand. Maybe it will not happen, but I got to believe. It is all I have left.
Mike Allen likes to write and come up with funny ideas. Patrick Shore and Mike Allen then like to collaborate on them and then post them to a blog for the world to see. This is their story.