Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Fight of The Week: Vader vs. Voldemort

Welcome one and all to the Fight of the Week!

A new weekly feature, every Wednesday @ 10am, which pits pop-culture icons against each other in the most brutal arena known to man - Fandom. Your votes decide the outcome! Remember always that this is not a popularity contest, this is a true fight, and your opinions should be based as such - it's not about who you like more it's about who will kick who's ass. We'll give you the lowdown, you let us know what you think. Enjoy and let's get it on!!!

As this is our first fight, I'll offer a few extra words of introduction:

This is a brawl composed almost purely of fandom. I want you to be fair in your evaluations, though. Consider this a real fight, even if your loyalties lead you in one particular direction. I’m going to set up a scenario and place it within each of the story’s respective timelines. Vote your mind and, for God’s sake, defend your damn answer! Post your opinions in the comments below. Let's get a good debate going here.

The Skinny
A Star Destroyer, carrying Darth Vader to a meeting with the Emperor, has a massive failure of its sensors and drops out of hyperspace. Lord Vader does not want his master to be displeased by any tardiness. He tells the Captain, under threat of Force-choke, that he must make that meeting immediately, no matter if the sensors are operational or not.
As the ship adjusts its course, it comes under sudden attack by massive amounts of Rebel forces. As wave after wave of TIEs fail to fight back the ambush and the shields of the Destroyer are nearly depleted, Vader rushes to his TIE-Advanced x1 and escapes just as the Destroyer implodes upon itself.
As he was not able to clear the concussive radius in time, his TIE is knocked off course and left spinning through space, a sensation not unfamiliar to the Sith Lord.
A nearby wormhole opens up and greedily swallows the spinning ship as Vader tries to regain control.
As it spits him out on the other end, he regains control of the ship, but is unable to contact Empire Fleet Command or, really, anyone else. His scanners indicate that most planets in the near by star system are either barren or gaseous. One planet, however, seems to have intelligent life, albeit with primitive technology.
He also feels a strange presence there… someone who is extremely powerful with what feels like the Dark Side. Thinking this might be some sort of lost Sith Lord whose knowledge Vader could surely steal, he flies to the planet to take a closer look.

Within an old, daunting house, the man once known as Tom Riddle sits contemplating his most recent loss to his hated rival, Albus Dumbledore, within the halls of the Ministry of Magic. He had proven to the world that his strength had returned and that he was, once again, to be feared by the populous, both magical and muggle alike. Lord Voldemort would now rise and rule over the world with an iron fist.
Suddenly, Voldemort feels a strange presence right outside his door. He pulls out his wand and rushes to see what his feelings tell him is something incredibly powerful.

Outside, in the din of an English thunderstorm, a strange craft lands near the isolated old house. The rear ramp opens and Vader emerges. He begins crossing the long, rain-soaked yard toward the ancestral home.
The door flings open. Voldemort stands, wand in hand, his snake-like eyes staring down Vader.
No words need to be exchanged. Each knows what drew the other to this place. They realize that, now they're both here, this has to happen.

Vader draws his lightsaber, Voldemort readies his wand.

This is a title bout. Winner walks home with the FotW Dark Lord Belt.

For the title of Dark Lord: Who would win in a fight?
View the results post.
Fight of the Week is written by Justin Bidula
Check out more smart & humorous nerd writings at his blog:


Foolish said...

I had to think about this. The only reason I picked Voldemort is because he has magical powers where Vader does not. Very interesting fight!!!

Aaron Kleiber said...

I voted for Vader only because I wasn't 30 when Star Wars came out...cause I would have ripped intensely as I do Harry Potter... Vader wins... but probly shouldn't cause he abandons his children.

Derek Minto said...

I voted for Vader because he has a fucking laser sword. Also Foolish, Vader has a shitload of magical powers.