"Last of all, Jesus appeared to the eleven disciples as they were eating." Mark 16:14
"One of the twelve disciples, Thomas, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, 'We have seen the Lord!'" Luke 20:24-25
The disciple Thomas walked towards a small abode in the middle of the city of Calvary. He and the other disciples had been hiding there ever since this whole crucifixion of Jesus business happened. They were all accessories to a crime and the authorities wanted them apprehended.
Thomas snuck through the streets and came upon an inconspicuous house. He rapped quickly on the locked door. There was a commotion going on inside. He knocked again and louder. The last thing he needed was to be outside after dusk with Roman Soldiers looking for him. He needed to be let in and quickly.
The latch unbuckled and Peter swung the door open wide. Everyone inside was jubilant. They were joyful in a way that perplexed Thomas. It seemed fake.
"Thomas!" cried Phillip. "You've just missed it!"
"What the heck are you all so happy about?" he inquired as he ducked inside. Matthew and Mark were high-fiving one another. Bartholomew and Simon were laughing hysterically. Even Judas Iscariot, who was kind of in the doghouse with the group as of late, was mumbling to himself, "I knew it."
Thaddeus approached Thomas, put his hand on his shoulder and said, "Thomas, we have seen the Lord! He is risen from the dead! His Spirit visited us just before you came in here!"
Thomas rolled his eyes. "Ha. Ha," he remarked sarcastically. "That's hilarious, Ted."
The apostle Andrew came and jostled him. "Thomas, it truly was Jesus! I saw Him with my own two eyes. He dropped by and then left right before you knocked on the door."
Thomas looked around, "So I just missed it then, huh? Ok guys. You got me! You really got me. Old naïve Thomas falls for it again. I just missed the resurrected Spirit of Jesus? Boy, am I unlucky or what?" he said and snapped his fingers in mock disappointment. "Biggest thing to ever happen to mankind and I'm just a bit late."
James shook him and said, "Thomas, we have all seen it. Jesus is alive! He told us to receive the Holy Spirit. If we forgive people's sins, they are forgiven."
Thomas smirked at James. "Oh really? Jesus said something about forgiving sins? No, duh! You couldn't even come up with something original there, Jim? Pathetic." He looked around the room at the perplexed faces. "At least put some effort into it next time."
The eleven apostles looked at him with vacant eyes. They did not know what else to say. The room fell silent and Thomas became agitated.
"You guys are being a bunch of A-holes," he muttered. "I'm going to bed."
-- Check out JEFF KONKLE'S WEBSITE! Jeff Konkle is a stand-up comedian who can currently be seen featuring at the Improv Waterfront, he has opened for national headliners like - Aries Spears (Mad TV), Bill Burr (HBO, Comedy Central Presents), Josh Blue, Kevin Brennan, Juston McKinney and Pauley Shore.