Monday, February 7, 2011

10 Ways to Make Everyone Think You’re a Jerk: by JEFF KONKLE

 1) Snarkily say “You’re Welcome,” immediately after you do anything for anyone.

2) During your birthday parties, open every gift and then say, “Is that it?”  Also, don’t serve cake.

3) Correct everyone’s grammar.

4) Always comment on youtube videos. 

5) Talk major smack on your own Grandma.

6) If you’re at a bar and someone says, “I love this song!” reply with, “Well why don’t you marry it.”

7) Randomly become a Los Angeles Lakers fan.

8) Always talk about politics and when other people seem disinterested call them “Sheeple.”  Get it?  Because their stupid like sheep.  But you’re not.  

9) Tell everyone you meet that they remind you of an ugly celebrity.  “You look just Tom Petty!”

10) Be Ricky Gervais.  


Jeff Konkle is a stand-up comedian who can currently be seen featuring at the Improv Waterfront, he has opened for national headliners like - Aries Spears (Mad TV), Bill Burr (HBO, Comedy Central Presents), Josh Blue, Kevin Brennan, Juston McKinney and Pauley Shore.

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