Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Dr. Pepper Sales Plummet after Latest Ad by TRAVIS WALLING

Fake News: Business

After a recent string of successes, Dr. Pepper’s latest “Trust me, I’m a doctor” ad has proven to be one of the biggest losers in the history of advertising. “I’m not sure what happened exactly,” opined Sr. VP of Marketing for the Dr. Pepper-Snapple Group James R. Treblicock, “we had so much success using people who aren’t real doctors, like Dr. Dre and Gene ‘Dr. Love’ Simmons, we only felt that the natural progression was to get a real medical doctor to do an ad for us. Unfortunately, with this being America we didn’t have a long list of doctors that anyone’s ever heard of. Heck more people think Jonas Salk is in a crappy band with his siblings than think he’s the inventor of the polio vaccine. So we went with the most famous medical doctor we could think of: Dr. Kevorkian”

The ad starts out innocently enough, with the elderly Dr. Kevorkian looking at a chart, he then looks at the camera and says “I’ve long been known as a man of strong convictions, both in my beliefs and against me legally. I feel that one should have the right to choose what’s best for them; be it having a doctor assist them in ending their life during a long painful illness, or deciding what the most refreshing drink is for when it’s kind of hot.” As he’s saying his lines he walks to an elderly man in a chair with three IVs going into his arm “Well, as you know Dr. Pepper has the great flavor that can be enjoyed by anyone at anytime” as the doctor is saying those lines he flips a switch on the machine going into the man’s arm and the man slowly passes out with his head slumped on his shoulder. “And I do mean anytime” the doctor says as he pours some Dr. Pepper into one of the IVs and the elderly, passed out man smiles slowly as a long steady “beeeeeeeeep” sound is heard. The ad ends with the doctor saying the ever present tag-line “Trust me, I’m a doctor”.

When asked to comment on the commercial social critic Phil Mushnick said “This is the most offensive commercial since Midas’s commercial with the drag queens advertising ‘Tranny Work Done Right’”.

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TRAVIS WALLING is a comedian from Pittsburgh; check out more of his writings at his website.

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