Friday, December 10, 2010

City Paper's 'BEST OF' Issue Forgets Comedy

© Copyright 2010, Pittsburgh City Paper
Every year the Pittsburgh City Paper compiles a cavalcade of categories to make up the "Best of Pittsburgh" Issue.

In 2010, the City Paper forgot about comedy.

I'm not sure if it was our fault - haven't we been doing enough shows? Is our calendar not full enough? I mean, you have a COMEDY event listing in your paper and online! Are Pittsburgh comedians not talented enough?

They haven't done much, except:
-  In the last year opened for headliners like; Charlie Murphy, Greg Warren, Billy Gardell, D.L. Hughley and Tracey Morgan - just to name a few.
- WON 1st & 3rd in a National Comedy Festival where only 20 cities had auditions, one being Pittsburgh.
- WON $25,000 in the Steeltown Entertainment Screenplay Contest,  filmed it & screened the film at the opening night of the Three Rivers Film Fest (who also just won $1000 by placing 3rd in a AT&T Commercial Contest).
- Been featured in national commercials and studio films - when was the last time one of those 'clothing designers" were on National TV?
- Multiple comedians have studied at the legendary Second City in Chicago.
- Featured on WDVE weekly (with over a quarter-million listeners).
- Been featured on NBC's Last Comic Standing.
They're doin okay.

While we're talking about the 'BEST OF' Issue:

Best LGBT-Friendly Bar? Really? I thought Pittsburgh was progressive enough where 'Best Bar' would suffice. Where's the "Best Colored People Water Fountains" or "Best LGBT Friendly Place for DIY'ers"?
'No, we meant that it's friendly in a way.....'...shutup.

'Best Pop/Rock Band that isn't the Clarks' - The fact you have to say that tells me there hasn't been a decent one since 1996.

'Best Place to Buy Smokes' - GET-GO ALMOST WON! 'Nuff said.

'Best Bartender'? Where's the best barista or best janitor? Shutup.

'Best Make-Your-Own Craft Shop'...... SHUT YOUR MOUTH. Shutup. Now.

Six winners of the nine People & Places category involved sports or Big Ben's weiner. Sigh.

Direct quote on page 39: "Best Way to Learn Pittsburgh Actually has Non-White Residents' - RIDE THE T. Did you know that we weren't just a city of whites & blacks? We actually have Hispanic and Asian residents? No? Ride the T."
ROTFLMAO. I would get booed off stage if I said this.
(Mind you, this was a voter write-in..but was the editor taking a dump on this one...).
Next year - 'Best Racial Slur Heard in Senior Citizen Access Vans'

Does Wiz Khalifa even live in Pittsburgh? A better category for him would be "Best Entertainment Career of the Year for a Pittsburgh NATIVE." Ehhh...I don't know, he might be neck-n-neck with Billy Gardell....wait - you wouldn't know him - he's a comedian.

'Best Bus Route' - Your ass. (You set that one up nice CP).

And 'Best Blog' was a write-in category? Sheesh. Don't get me wrong, we're probly ranked somewhere between 12 - 17; but have you ever seen The Pens Blog?

In next year's issue, just put "Best Comedian: Dennis Miller." Idiots.

Complete List at City Paper's Website

Written by Aaron Kleiber
Aaron hasn't done anything notable but make people laugh on occasion.


Aaron Kleiber said...

FROM PITTSBURGH MAGAZINE, Sept 2010: Best Unexpected Nightlife Combo: Duke’s Station,
just outside of South Park, is a surprisingly fun spot any night of the
week. Drink specials are generous, the food is cheap and there’s
karaoke seven nights a week. This makes for an unlikely double-header on
Mondays, though. Local c...omic Aaron Kleiber hosts a stand-up open mic
starting at 8 p.m., leading up to the start of karaoke at 9:30 p.m. In
practice, this means up-and-coming comics can bust out their favorite
hits on a microphone they used to work out new material 30 minutes ago.
Crazy fun. 5981 Baptist Road, Bethel Park; 412/835-0697. — Sean Collier

Eric said...

Charlie Murphy, DL Hughley, and Tracey Morgan aren't funny.. not even the three of them together.

Aaron Kleiber said...

They still sell out shows, must be someone who likes them. I don't like Dane Cook but I gotta respect him for doing what he does.