Thursday, December 2, 2010

Buy the DVD? The Expendables by MICHAEL RUBINO

The American Action Movie isn't what it used to be. Our heroes, the men we turn to when a goon deserves a dagger to the forehead or a corporate jackal needs kicked out a window, have turned into conflicted whiners bogged down by so much emotional baggage and "acting skills" that their kicks, punches, and 'splosions are barely registering.

Not Sylvester Stallone. He left all that baggage in the terminal when he made his super-group opus: The Expendables.

The Expendables are a group of elite mercenaries who are more than happy to bust a few skulls for the right price. Like any good ragtag group, each curiously-named member brings something unique to the table: Barney Ross (Stallone), the quickdraw leader; Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), the knife guy; Ying Yang (Jet Li), the karate expert; Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), the shellshocked loose cannon; Toll Road (Randy Couture), the wrestler-in-therapy; Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), the strongman with a nuke-shotgun; and Tool (Mickey Rourke), their long winded tattoo artist and adviser.

The gang is hired by a CIA operative, Mr. Church (Bruce Willis), to overthrow a puppet dictatorship on the island of Vilena in the Gulf of Mexico. That's pretty much all you need to know.
The Expendables is a fantasy. A man-fantasy. Not that kind of man-fantasy. You know what I mean. It's an imperfect, but admirable, dream come true. I remember seeing it in theaters, at midnight in downtown Chicago, and thinking to myself, as Terry Crews liquidized several nameless villains with his massive shotgun, that this couldn't be happening. How is it that all of these legendary action heroes, spanning over 30 years of film history, could be on the screen together blowing up a dictator's house? How did Stallone pull this off?

Read the full review:

Mike Rubino is a Pittsburgh-area writer, improviser, and actor who performs with the Cellar Dwellers comedy troupe.

Upcoming Show:

"Dodge Intrepid and the Pages of Time Christmas Special"
An original, old fashioned radio show with plenty of wit and pulp
Friday, Dec 10 at Beaver Falls Coffee & Tea, Beaver Falls PA
7:30pm. Free, all ages.

No comments: