Are you a fan of babies? Having babies? Naming them? If you’re like me, the thing babies need most is a name. “But how do I name a baby?” you may ask yourself. “Is there a reference book, or some sort of baby dictionary I can find names from? Do I just make up a name using the Ouija board? Should I buy an official Parker Brothers Ouija board, or should I craft a creepy makeshift one using household objects?” Luckily for you, here are some helpful tips on finding a name for your new offspring.
Keep your goals in mind. The “baby” in “baby name” refers to the child, and not the size of the name. “Ib” is not a proper baby name. Baby names do not grow with the child, so do yourself a favor and pick a nice, long name for your baby, to keep your child from shrinking. Think “Alabastre Skyote Grandophone Axpindle” or “Bambadoo Jixforks Eltanium Fround”.
Avoid evil names. Love the name “Lucifer”? Just change the letters around to keep it from being so evil: Lustifarm, for example. For similar reasons, avoid the names Satan, Wanky, and Wank-Satan.
Eric S. Donaldson is a comedian, singer & songwriter from Pittsburgh, PA - he has LOTS more funny blogs & musings at EricSDonaldson.com