Monday, April 5, 2010

Jesus' Worst Fans - Ron Placone

At times I wonder if Jesus Christ feels a little bit how I imagine Johnny Depp must feel. Do the two of them at times, maybe right before bed, sigh to themselves and exclaim: “Damn…over half of my fan-base completely misses the point?”

That’s what I imagine. I can’t imagine a beat-enthusiast out of Kentucky who wanted to pursue music and toured with Hunter Thompson under a guise relates to the 20-and-under crowd that house the Jack Sparrow poster next to the Jonas Brothers.
Likewise, I can’t imagine that Jesus…well, no explanation needed there.

To narrow it down to five is anything but an easy task…I’m sure I’m missing a few gems to say the very least. Nonetheless, out of those that have successfully sought out the public eye and pummel in their dribble on a regular basis, here is what I deem to be, based on my individual level of blood curdling, Jesus’ five worst fans.

5. Ann Coulter. Granted, Palin’s already stealing whatever thunder she has left. Palin’s got a family in the spotlight, is reasonably attractive, and her adam’s apple doesn’t have its own zipcode, old Ann just can’t compete. Though, her philosophy to ‘perfect’ the Jews, the John Edwards slandering and the fact that the whole Playboy thing was a hoax (the general populace doesn’t deserve to be frightened so) earns her a much coveted spot in the top 5.

4. Bill O’Reilly. Only in America can the angry bordering-on-hate-speech ramblings of a sociopath barely fit for a five star dive bar receive national broadcasting on the nation’s largest media mogul. Bill’s watering down of every issue, spoon-feeding information to his ideal audience (people that don’t think or ask questions), his obnoxious and narrowed nationalism, and of course the baiting and bias labeling of his guests, especially those without religious convictions (Richard Dawkins interview anyone?) gives him #4 with a bullet.

Check out the rest of the list at RON

Ron is a comedian & writer that has returned from Pittsburgh after blowing-up comedy in Seattle, WA.

Bookmark and Share

No comments: